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On The Deck

This section is for a bit of fun or what one would expect to hear or see on the deck.
The truth about Why The Club House Lights Are Dim.



For years it has been believed that an electric bulb emitted light.  I learned, via an esteemed golfing member of YGC whom now resides in Brunswick, has, through recent in-depth thinking and research, information to prove otherwise. It is known as the Oakes theory of contrasting belief.

Electric bulbs do not emit light. On the contrary, they  suck in dark! Thus they' should be more accurately described as "Dark Suckers” .

The "Dark Sucker" theory proves the existence of dark; that Dark has a heavier mass than light; and that Dark is faster than light

The basis of the Dark Sucker theory is that electric so-called "light" bulbs actually suck Dark.

Take for example, the Dark Suckers that are present in the room where you are right now. There is much less dark next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck Dark. Therefore, Dark Suckers at the M.C.G. night football finals have a much greater capacity than the ones in your room.

As with most things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This theory can be proved by the presence of a black spot observed on a full dark Sucker.

A candle is an example of a primitive Dark Sucker. A candle is supplied with a white wick. One can observe that after the first use, the wick turns black, displaying to the naked eye all the dark that has been sucked into it. If a pencil is held next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got into the way of the Dark flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive Dark Suckers gave only a very limited range


Portable Dark Suckers are also available in a variety forms. The bulbs in these devices cannot handle all the Dark by themselves, and must be used in conjunction with a Dark storage unit. When the Dark storage unit is full, it must either be emptied or replaced before the Dark Sucker can be used again.